Hi

I’m blasting Cat Power’s cover of “Sea Of Love” and it makes me feel crazy emotional and beautiful because sometimes I think if my heart and my lungs and my brain could sing a song it would sound like this.

Can you tell I am feeling emo? These past few days, since getting back from Costa Rica, have been very strange for me. I went from being in this beautiful pure place, feeling like my happiness was untouchable, vowing to bring back this positive view on life, to being here, in reality, and losing complete grip of those emotions, and beating myself up over it. I am 99% positive that a lot of it has to do with the fact that I am not served the most delicious fruit plate every morning. But that is something I need to work on myself, unfortunately New Jersey doesn’t have the same selection of in season ripe fruit so I’ll just have to deal with it.

Mine and Joe’s wedding song just came on.
Glenn Miller Orchestra, “I’m Glad There Is You”

I have had a few conversations the past few days with one of my oldest and dearest (and best) friends, Mandy Fay. We are always in tune with each other no matter what is going on, but we are both having a hard time. So our initial conversations can start with text messages like “I most certainly just had a legitimate psychotic episode” or “I am so sick of failing at everything fucking thing I do” can be turned into sharing synopsis’s about the books we are currently devouring, or remember that time when we did stupid 1 2 or 3, or encouragements like “you are more than a friend, you are like my sister” ~ I just got off one of those phone calls, that started as her calling me to see if I was okay, and left me feeling positive, which is what really makes this fucking world GO ROUND!! Where’s the love? It’s here!

Devendra Banhart, “Can’t Help But Smiling”

Anyway. I also want to quasi-apoligize about my Hilary Clinton rant from the other day. Because I have been oddly enough thinking about it, not like anyone really reads this blog yet, but I don’t want to seem like such an ignorant shallow mo-mo. I really don’t know who my next Presidential candidate is, especially now that Chris Christie is out of the race (go ahead, now you can think I am an ignorant mo-mo, but I will debate him with you if you’d like…) — but I really just had to let it out there how I feel about Hilary. I know she is an extremely intelligent woman who has a good social media strategy and has so many other powerful woman rooting for her. But I just have this awful memory of shame dealing with blowies, and she will be forever associated with it. That’s just where I stand.

Florence + The Machine, “You’ve Got the Love (XX remix)”

My mom is on her way over here to pick me up so we can go to the mall. I can’t even remember the last time I went to the mall with her, so it should be fun. We are going up to Freehold to hit up the good stores. I am investing in an entirely new beauty routine from LUSH — because I am so tired of using all these chemically engineered products from a million different companies. I really don’t want to put harsh and random chemicals on my body anymore, so hopefully some hippy chick at the store will be patient with me. I am wearing a dress that I bought for the honeymoon, and it’s been in my suitcase, and my super sense of smell is just bothering me. It’s like this dress kind of smells like its been up against a dirty pair of something else (not panties, you sicko) — but like just the faintest smell of dirty laundry.. I don’t know it’s just kind of making me ill. It’s that suitcase smell. I am washing everything that was in the suitcase but most of it needs a nice dry sunny day to line dry and we haven’t had that yet, so here I am. I’m def not going home to change, but I just wanted to share that with you. Oh yeah, I also want to hit up H&M to restock some leggings and long tanks, what what! I also need some new bras but that’s a conversation for another day.

Jason Mraz, “Best Friend”

Last night the Bulls won their first game against the Cavs .. and the Royals beat the Mets in like the 100th inning. Isn’t that interesting. Anyway, my Mom just here so we are off to embark on a shopping extravaganza! …. My mom brought me pumpkins. She is so cute still doing mama things like that. “They were big enough, so I seat belted them in the back seat” — She also said she won’t let Joe ever carry her pumpkins again, because last year she got me a pumpkin with the cutest stem, it actually did a curly-que .. and Joe carried it by the stem(handle) and it snapped right off. Ha ha ha.. okay, off we go!

Joe and I on the honeymoon (this is the dress).