Author Archive | Ashley

Journal_029

days like today where the humidity is so intense and the air so dense that you feel swollen. The low pressure ignites thoughts and tension. Living by the beach it’s an ever larger feeling of environmental gain and strain and wind and salt and the smells of the ocean and the waves and the wet sand and the cold crisp warm arm cutting through you like fall fall fall fall. roses mums zinnias cosmos potato vine basil herbs still thriving vines growing in opposite corners of the yard. One is wild, one I planted as a bulb. Small pumpkisn and gourds, dried cornstalks flanking the front door, I tucked a withered sunflower into the twine, I want to remember to do the same with some roses. Dry them out and tuck them into the cornstalks. Roses blooming everywhere in the neighborhood right now, their delicate petals getting whipped by the salty wind. Patti Smith is playing, Joe is next to me writing an email. Joseph is down. We vacuumed. Worked at the store all day yesterday, saw asome familiar faces, some new ones too. I helped a woman tie a small garbage can to her bike with string. She was bringing it down to her son’s new apartment in Seaside. She was cool, wild red hair poking out from underneath a sun bleached neon green bandana. An oversized tie dye tee shirt, cargo shorts, and nail beds crusted with dirt. She said she was slowly bringing small things to his apartment, moving things each time she went, “they had their plates all the way across from the sink!” – her son and his friend just turned 21 and are close to the bars, “at least they don’t have to drive home” … they have two dogs, one is her “grand doggy” that she will walk and take care of as well.. his room mate has a 4 week old pitbull “from a box in Brooklyn”, she wasn’t weaned from her mother or siblings but luckily she can walk with her son’s dog. Anyway, she was cool. Carol came in, Elaine came in with her mother, Grace. One woman came in and ran to the cardinal birdfeeder. Clutching it, she told Joe and I about her and her daughter’s thing with the bird. That when her father died her daughter she saw a hawk every day in the same spot and thought it was him.. then when hermother died the daughter started getting visits from a cardinal. So now that’s her grammy. The mother scoffed it off, but was clutching this bird feeder, telling us the story in a semi manic way, it was endearing, yet made me sad for her. That’s what I love about the store, these little moments with people. John came in, my mom came in with Joseph, we made a bunch of avocado toast, drank iced coffee (I actually want some now, damnit)… some bagels with cream cheese, and butter, a Standard shake … two young kids came in and were so happy we had bagels, they were cute, bickering at each other, brother and sister. 1x everything toasted with butter, 2x plain, not toasted, with butter. I was thinking yesterday, making bagels, how happy I am to live in NJ because of bagels. I LOVE BAGELS. Ok I really have to shower. The wind is whipping in the window on my fair and my hair is so wild, my skin is covered in dew, you can barely close the doors its all expanded. I texted my mom “Its so humid I want to scream”, she says “I would say it is 100% humidity. Basically you are underwater ..in the water. Something like that” –

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Journal_028

Sitting here staring at the cursor. Once again. Its warm up time, time to stretch before I go. First things first, change the font to Time New Roman. I’m writing in Microsoft Word and the default font is Cambria (I think?) and I always need to change it to TNR when I write.

I am in a hurry because the baby just went down and these days it seems like he will nap anywhere from 20 minutes to 3 hours. Well, he went down about 30 minutes ago. I made a call, switched the laundry, made the bed and did some dishes before jumping on here.

Days at home, I never know when my freedom will cease. Do I even deserve freedom? That is a loaded question because my entire life is freedom, I am a lucky one. I meant when will I have to be tuned back in, turned back on, focused on family, house, responsibilities. Cleaning cleaning cleaning cooking cooking cooking going going going. Who else is overwhelmed?? Raise your hand. Admitting it helps me, sorry if I seem redundant.

Oi, The washer just kicked in and it’s so loud geez I hope that doesn’t wake him up. Today I laid on the floor next to his crib and pretended to be asleep so that he would go to sleep on his own. Mama business is tricky. Of course the naps are different for all the people who care for him. There are a handful of us, putting in our part, loving on the baby, so both mom and dad can move forward on their ‘path’ let’s say. Which is a whole different level of trickster. My newest mission though, is for him to practice relaxation before sleep. To lull off on his own. Most adults I know have a hard time doing this, so who knows how far we will get.

I went up to the beach today to look for treasures. You wouldn’t believe the amount of trash, well probably you would, but after these big storms you really notice how much is in our ocean. If I didn’t have Joseph I would have done a better job at picking debris up, once he is a little more stable we will do it together (carefully of course) .. so many bottle caps and plastic silverware and little shreds of plastic .. and SO MUCH FOAM. The ocean is super foamy today, we had fun watching it blow around, and squishing it in our hands. We were the only ones on the shore and the waves were massive, even far out, unruly. A sneaker wave came up and I scooped Joseph up and my ankles got wet, but we got out of its way. The ocean that is. Powerful beyond belief. Stunning and scary, so we came home and played in the sandbox, picked some weeds, threw some rocks.

There are about forty peaches in my fridge,

I should make some pie, or jam, or smoothies.

Flo is sitting across the street on the porch of her bungalow, zoned out, maybe asleep.
There is a slight breeze, the chimes are dinging, the birdies are singing. It’s one of those days though where the crickets chirp all through the afternoon. I love that.

It’s hot though, so I have laundry on the line. Some of Joe’s stuff and a load of bleached whites. I love bleach.
I am boring myself and feel like reading instead of writing, I’m nearly finished with Tom Robbins, Even Cowgirls get The Blues. I am ready to be done, I have enjoyed it but it has taken me way too long to get through.

Very excited to see a friend tomorrow. I can’t believe it’s already Wednesday. They are forecasting this weekend to be gorgeous and HOT. It’s nearly Autumn, I love Indian Summer. There is a lot of talk about Indian Summer in ECGTB (formentioned book) .. actually a lot of talk about a lot of themes going on in my life right now, super creative writing, existential thinking, humor, beauty, and crassness. It’s a hoot.

I’m starving now that I think about it. Maybe a turkey wrap. We have so many wraps leftover from the summer. Wraps are so good. I wish I had some cole slaw. MMMM.

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journal_028

yo. 12:54 on a Wednesday afternoon, it’s gorgeous out, and as I was setting up the stroller to walk the dude, he started falling asleep, so I laid him down, and am left with a few moments to myself. There are a million chores to be done, but I thought it better to sit down for a few and write, because that usually makes me feel better than starting chores, then not finishing those chores, and then feeling blah.

So here I am. I haven’t written since January 19.

Since then I have … taken a yoga class (so good, my bod got rocked), baby came down with a week long virus, I’ve started making bumpers for his crib with my mom, we planned a near-future road trip, entered a sweepstakes for a home ‘make over’ .. I experienced a two day migraine, had some friends over to watch football (they brought their kitten, so cute), ordered some Girl Scout cookies from my niece, went on a few beach walks, felt super negative, finally took advantage of the two hour massage joe got me as an anniversary gift, saw La La Land, felt super positive, celebrated Granny’s 86th birthday, watched the Super Bowl, kissed my baby on the head 912 times, ordered myself two new pairs of Lu La Roe leggings (I wore a few pairs of TC throughout my pregnancy but they are stretched beyond belief), I did some knitting, read a book, made some food, caught up with some friends, finally ordered my cloth diaper stash, aaand ate a Hot Turkey Platter at the Rainbow Diner. You guys, I love Hot Turkey Platters. … I should have gotten the Gyro though (that’s what Joe got).

I’ve also gone through about 85% of my wardrobe in hopes of opening a Posh Mark closet. There is so much that doesn’t fit me anymore, or I am just tired of/isn’t my style, I figured why not do something purposeful with them? I had already given away a significant chunk of stuff, letting friends pick through or dropping off at the donation bin, but a lot made ‘the cut’ in my closet, we also never took down our summer stuff last year*, so looking at those bins, it’s like, everything can go.. I forgot I even owned half this stuff! Most importantly, I don’t have space to store a clothing collection at this point in my life. It’s time to say goodbye to certain things. So stay tuned for that! .. and yeah yeah, I know a lot of people do it, its hard work, but I like to work AND it’s getting rid of stuff, maybe making a few shecks here and there. Two birds, one possibly-insanely-waste-of-time-and-energy stone.

Dang, I just saw on FB that Ryan Montbleau has a new album coming out! which is exactly the news I needed today.. deep breath, I need to pre-order it. Currently listening to the single, Bright Side, through this link. Additionally, I am flying through Lauren Graham’s new book, Talking As Fast As I Can — reading her point of view is so refreshing and inspiring (Hi, Lauren!)

Okay, it is officially too nice out to be looking at this blazing computer screen. Why is it supposed to snow tomorrow? These Spring vibes are making me want to garden .. orrr sit outside somewhere with a hoppy beer and a sandwich. Well, off I go, peace!



[ some random shots from my “photo shoot” for the Good Housekeeping submission ]

*editing over this I remembered in The Art of Tidying Up she recommends not even HAVING summer/winter clothes, but just having one year round wardrobe and making it work. I also realized I really do operate on a ‘Capsule Wardrobe’ system these days. I used to get dressed up for work, so I had more of a chance to express myself through my clothes.. although my costume has always been – jeans/tee… and now that I work in a kitchen or am painting/cleaning, I need more utilitarian pieces.

[ jeans + a tee, san fran – 2014 ]

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YEAR ZERO


[ The Jet Star ]
—————————————-

Blog entry, http://ourbklyn.com
January 20, 2013
Brooklyn, New York

our home ended up needing to be gutted. we worked on saving it, but the mold grew very quickly – it was out of our hands. we truly believed we could save it. the furniture was destroyed. dragging beautiful pieces of furniture outside. it was super sad.

i am having a hard time now, writing this. my heart is broken. the island is not habitable yet. things are coming together, the plans for our house are being made. i am not sure how to verbalize my empathy and support for the people who lost absolutely everything. its been a life changer for a lot of people and i’ll say personally – it’s put a lot into perspective. driving over the seaside bridge was a surreal experience. honestly just seeing the national guard there, and all of the emergency vehicles. all the ruin, everything is off. it felt so cold. it was the first weekend people were allowed back, we waited in a long line over the bridge as the sun was coming up to get in. the damage was beyond. every single person was and is affected.

the man who lives at the top of our street said the waves were crashing onto his house. they were over 20 feet high. he said there were homes floating by, in the ocean. there are still homes in the water. just sitting there, you can see the peaks pointing out of the water. the visuals are difficult to view. my nana can’t stand the sight – she met my pop-pop on the seaside boardwalk on labor day, 1941. so much has been wiped away. so many bases for so many people.

the rollercoaster that now stands in the ocean – the jet star – was one i’ve ridden countless times. if you look at the photos, the left hand side is your first climb. going around that corner, it always felt like you’d simply fall into the ocean. as a young girl and, into adulthood – it was always one of those really scary moments, you make the turn and take your first drop. the ride was quick, but it was wild. seeing the track in the ocean has a ghost-like abandon to it. it represents freedom and exhilaration and fear and adrenaline. the last time i rode it was may 2011, about 3 weeks before joe and i moved to brooklyn. i threw my hands straight into the air for that first drop, we were free.









[ the front door was stuck so joe used a crowbar to bust through the window | my dad had a man who was occupying the house as a winter rental, he stayed throughout the storm and if i remember correctly, by the end of the storm the only surface for him to be on was the kitchen table. i need to get the whole story from my dad again | the original plan was to use a dremel tool to cut the sheet rock from the water damage line down.. we spent the day clearing out the furniture, ripping up the floors, all the insulation, and sawing the walls ]



[ joe and dad pushed the fridge out the back door. there is something strangely cathartic in demolition of your own stuff ]




[ checking out the beach ]



[ hotels and churches and local businesses ]


[ ortley beach, new jersey ]




[ point pleasant beach, new jersey ]








[ seaside heights, new jersey .. the last photo of the ferris wheel and the funtown pier sign are taken in seaside park ]



[ aerial shots taken by a friend in January of 2013, posted with permission ]







[ the mold had spread, the house needed to be stripped to a frame. how wild to see it like this! it feels so small ]




[ spring of 2013, my step sister brenda was a driving force behind the construction | on this specific day joe and i rented a u-haul and picked up furniture from several different locations to be delivered to the house. you can see things coming together in these photos ]

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my hutch

It is time to share the story of my hutch. Which wasn’t always my hutch. First, it belonged to my Great Grandmother, in her home in Elizabeth NJ. Then it was passed on to my Nana, then she passed it on to my Mom (it was in our kitchen growing up), and she eventually passed it on to me, when I moved to my second apartment in Philly.

It eventually came to Brooklyn with Joe and I. It didn’t fit up our first apartment steps (we found this out the hard way ..of course) – so it went back to be stored at my dad’s for a year.. when we moved into our second apartment, the hutch fit through the door… hooray!

After all these movings and all these different owners and locations, the hutch had been worn and torn. Something banged into one of the doors when we moved out of New York, so we had shattered glass on one of the doors, and the sides were scratched and damaged from tape and trucks and years of use.

It’s solid oak, with beautiful details. We got both of the doors re-glassed at Toms River Glass ($37.00) – and then got to work! I purchased a quart of a high quality Benjamin Moore paint, in a pearl finish ($20.00) – washed the entire hutch down with soapy water, let it dry, sanded it, wiped again, let it dry, and then got to painting.

The doors came off the bottom portion (I spray painted the hinges black) – I decided to leave some of the original details raw and natural. This piece has such special corners and curves that I couldn’t bare to sand them! .. I also left the knobs original, because they were so worn in from the hands of my family. They needed to stay that way.

While I was at it, I also dragged an old telephone table out and quickly sanded and painted that the same color. It needed a new life desperately that I almost didn’t want to include the photo of it because its so ragged looking! How did I let that thing hang in my home for so long!?

There was a LOT of cutting in, so this job took me an entire day, into dusk. I listened to the majority of the first Serial podcast. I am so pleased with the way it turned out. My last desire is to go back to the glass place and get three pieces of mirror to affix to the back of the interior of the hutch. I thought about painting it a light pink or a white, but I just think mirror would complete this piece.

What do you think!?






Update – Here are some photos of how it looks currently. See how dark? I need mirrors to reflect all the light. Also, check out that telephone table, upgrade – eh?



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[ posts published in january of 2017 – click image for full post]






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1/2015

I am in the midst of a project that involves sorting through folders upon folders of neglected photos and videos on my computer and hard drive. I’d like to eventually put them all into chronological albums / share them with my peoples.
Enjoy the evidence in what I’ll call.. Photo Essays!




[ posing beside the Route 35 make over | dusty dayzes w etta |
bamber lake, pine barrens nj ]



[ beach houses | gulls, up high ]




[ cooking tofu and cabbage | pip on a cat blanket i knitted | champagne fireplace ]



[ stinky first giving a warning look, next comes the snarl ]



[ frisbee ]


[ liz on the beach ]





[ a dinner with friends, and their sphinx kitten ]






[ winter beach scenes ]





[the fam ]



[ first visitor on a sunny morning after a big snow ]





[ valentines dinner, 2015 ]

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journal_027

Hello, hello. It’s 6:55 on Wednesday, January 18th and I am sitting down at my desk to write. There, I said it. So that’s what I am going to do. I had intent to write all day, but things kept getting in the way, the phone kept ringing, more laundry had to be done, the dog kept needing to go out, and come in, I kept tidying, organizing drawers, I kept making more food, taking more photos or … yeah, I’ll admit it, watching more Housewives.

Now I’m giving a first listen to Birds of Chicago, ‘Real Midnight’ … 33 seconds in and her voice has swept me away. Thank god I shut the laptop on those screechy (yet alluring) Ladies of London (I have a serious infatuation with fellow Virgo Caroline Fleming) .. I just gulped down the last of my lukewarm coffee and cracked open a bottle of sparkling water. It’s the little things, am I right?

Adjusting to writing online in a regular fashion is weird, guys. I am seriously trying to harness the inhibition of my younger self, when I was open and hooked up to an ethernet cord, in a different corner of this house. I was 21 years old when I moved from Philly to the beach, and I had absolutely zero grip and zero expectations of my life.

Now I am here, in what feels like a different lifetime, but in the same place. It’s quite humbling now that I think about it.. picture me right now, eyes widening, thinking- oh, how lucky am I to have shared so many stages of my lifetime in this sweet little house by the sea. Right now I miss my hub and my baby, but they aren’t too far away, and they are safe, so I need to go asljhdsajhdsakjhdaskjhd and take a deep breath … :::: deep breath :::: and relax.

I had an hour and a half conversation with my mama on the phone today, we were breezing ideas around, blah blah blah’ing, and it was so refreshing and wonderful to just chitty chat with her. We have been surrounded with a lot of sadness these past few years, admittedly a lot of it we, she, me, brought on ourselves, but we are in this for the long haul and have been through so much as a family, so when it feels like we are moving past those hurdles and doing our old rituals, it feels nice.




[ snow from earlier this month | when our tree was still up ]

Afterward I got on the horn with Fay, and we were shooting the breeze as well. She and I always talk about creative projects, wanting to one day live abroad, work, clothes, music, everything, so I usually feel inspired after I get off a call with her. I wandered around with my head set on, taking pictures, while she picked her boy up from school, then later got home and started some laundry, telling me about her son’s first homework assignment, a diorama about any mode of transport, and how he chose a water plane, I asked if they would use a tissue box, but she said that he was thinking he’d make it with legos, she also said that she brought home some books from the the Children’s Non-Fiction section at the library on transportation so they will look through those together as well. I adore this girl and the way she learns with her little guy.


[ latest hobby; making baby food ]

By the way, I am seriously loving this album (Birds of Chicago) – and lucky me, they are currently on tour in this area .. I want to pick a show and just go. I miss seeing live music on a regular basis, it’s so important for the soul. Full disclosure, I checked them out to begin with because I was scrolling twitter and Club Helsinki in Hudson, NY sent out a tweet about them playing there soon, I trust Helsinki’s lineup, so I checked them out. I wish I lived blocks away so I could go there on a regular basis, because their shows have never let me down, and they have all been different. That’s something thats a serious lack in this area, walkable/fresh/live music.






[ took the trip to Charmed for some supplies ]

Oh, wait! Thats right, I wanted to explain one photo (below) which is all the books I intend on reading this year. These are all books that are already in my home, and owned by myself (okay one of them is Joe’s but I know he will let me read it once he has finished..) .. Some of them I have already read, have started reading and either need to finish or re start.. I’m actually almost done with The Interestings (I’ve loved this book!) — Can we also talk about how that poinsettia is still alive, and Joe got it for me on December 13th? Can it stay alive year round? he said he asked the girl at the flower shop and she wasn’t sure, but said to water it everyday, I guess we will keep it alive as long as can.










[ photos taken while pacing around the house on the phone ]

Another thing Fay and I do, is bring each other UP confidence wise. At least I hope I do for her, as she does for me. We are both funkettes and it’s always been that way and always will be that way. A facet of our friendship has always been sending each other pics. I actually keep meaning to tell her about the Gwen Stefani song, Send Me a Picture, because it’s too good. Also, You’re My Favorite is my jam. Gwen has always gotten me, or I’ve gotten her, or we got each other. She has evolved big time over her career and I have been a fan since I first saw ‘I’m Just a Girl’ on MTV. I’ve probably already gushed to you but I’m still there apparently.. but to be fair, I prefer No Doubt over her solo stuff. I just love doing hair/makeup or cleaning to her music. Oh yeah, did you see her interview on the Netflix series Chelsea ?? I’m a big fan of that show and loooved Gwen’s interview .. also Drew’s… and Gwenyth’s .. 🙂 I fucking love Chelsea Handler. I haven’t read her two latest books, should I? Dang, My Horizontal Life is available in Mass Market editions … hahah the amazon ‘jacket’ says Handler chronicles what can happen to one very intoxicated, outgoing woman during one night of passion– repeated over and over with lots and lots of men. .. OO LA LA. anyyyyway –




[ fresh air; ]

Wow I just sideteracked so fucking bad with that Gwen rave, back to Fay, we always send one another pics of what is going on in our day, and some of the highlights include: outfits (really good or really bad) and hair’dos (really good or really bad) so here are some photos that I’d normally send only to Fay, but now I’m sending them to my blog, too.






[ joe’s old button down | adidas three stripe leggings (bought from paragonsports.com) | socks from macy’s (that I bought when I bought my black booties and they are one of my faves) | rug from ikea | turquoise ring purchased in New Mexico | camera strap from ONA

xx afaye

—–

for the inquiring minds, here’s a list of the books
(from top to bottom)

The Jungle Book – Rudyard Kipling
Food Rules – Michael Pollan and Maira Kalman**
Jitterbug Perfume – Tom Robbins****
House of Dolls – Francesca Lia Block
A House On The Heights – Truman Capote***
My Own Cape Cod – Gladys Taber***
The Parent’s Tao Te Ching – William Martin
Even Cowgirls Get the Blues – Tom Robbins
The Interestings – Meg Wolitzer***
The Spirits Catches You and You Fall Down – Anne Fadiman
Their Eyes Were Watching God – Zora Neale Hurston
A Moveable Feast – Ernest Hemingway**
The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath***
Talking as Fast as I Can – Lauren Graham
The Best of Stillmeadow – Gladys Taber**
Anna Karenina – Leo Tolstoy****
Born To Run – Bruce Springsteen*
The Bible

* – Joe’s
** – to be read again
*** – started/need to finish
**** – started/need to restart

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MLK

I’ve always had an appreciation for Martin Luther King Jr. I mean, what stable hearted American hasn’t, right? But when I was able to take a work trip to Atlanta to learn about him first hand, it took my respect to another level. It got personal, because walking the streets where he lived and being inside his church and standing in front of his tomb, of his fight for justice and peace and righteousness, was a beyond humbling experience for a middle to lower class white female (me).

This country is currently split in two, three, four, 1867 gazillion pieces. It’s unbelievable and baffling, and sad, and sometimes makes me wonder if we really are steps away from getting bombed, or a nuclear war or even hey, a huge comet hitting our planet and totally ENDING this world, why do we spend so much time on hate and segregation and judgement? and debating, name calling, fact checking, and ..fb’ing.

Remember the ice age, the dinosaurs? yeah, that could be us – any minute. like any minute, this minute, this past minute, in 5 minutes, or ..never! we might never see it in our lifetime. My grandparents didn’t see it in their lifetime, maybe I won’t either, or maybe I will, or it could end up being my children’s burden, in their lifetime. .. or not, or never.

My point is that so much CAN happen in a lifetime, so when we have holidays like today, it’s important to take time to reflect on what one man can do in his lifetime. In my heart and mind, MLK, he moved planets in his.

This divided-ness has always been here, but connectivity is the key to living a peaceful and respected life. MLK Jr is a great example of someone who fought so hard that he lost his young life for his cause, and I believe in the midst of what is happening now, Americans all over the country will sit back tonight and absorb how far we have really, truly, come. (instead of focusing on all the wrongness that is happening today, and this week, red state or blue state, it’s bad)

I was watching Good Morning America this morning and there was an interview with Martin’s daughter, Reverend Bernice King (it feels wrong to call him Martin, doesn’t it? But they did on the show, so I am too) – She was brave and eloquently spoke of both of her parents, with an emphasis on her Mother, Coretta Scott King, who’s posthumous memoir “My Life, My Love, My Legacy” is due out tomorrow, January 17. She referenced this quote from her father, which resonated with me –

“People fail to get along because they fear each other; they fear each other because they don’t know each other; they don’t know each other because they have not communicated with each other.”

MLK was arrested so regularly, it was unbelievable. I remember in the museum on Auburn Avenue had a timeline, he was taken under police custody for everything, he was stabbed, he was criticized and harassed and ‘bullied’ beyond belief. I did find this timeline of his career, which is a great piece on the social work he and Coretta accomplished. .. just check this little part of the timeline out (i recommend reading it all though!) — this was going on in the first five years of my mom’s life – !

1958 MLK’s first book, Stride Toward Freedom, is published on September 17. At a Harlem book signing on September 20, MLK is nearly killed when he is stabbed by an assailant. Along with other civil rights leaders, he meets on June 23 with President Dwight D. Eisenhower to discuss problems affecting black Americans.

1959 MLK and Coretta make a pilgrimage to India on February 2 and spend a month there as the guests of Prime Minister Jawaharlal Nehru to study Mahatma Gandhi’s philosophy of nonviolence and to pay homage at his shrine. On November 29, MLK announces his resignation, effective January 1, as pastor of the Dexter Avenue Baptist Church to concentrate on civil rights work full time. He moves to Atlanta to direct the activities of the SCLC.

1960 On January 20, MLK moves to Atlanta and becomes co-pastor, with his father, at the Ebenezer Baptist Church. Lunch counter sit-ins begin on February 1 in Greensboro, North Carolina. The Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee is founded on April 15 to coordinate student protests at Shaw University in Raleigh, North Carolina, and elsewhere. MLK is the keynote speaker at the event. In Atlanta, on October 19, MLK is arrested during a sit-in while waiting to be served at a restaurant. He is sentenced to four months in jail, but after intervention by then presidential candidate John Kennedy and his brother Robert Kennedy, MLK is released.

1961 On May 4, soon after the Supreme Court outlawed segregation in interstate transportation, Congress on Racial Equality (CORE) demonstrators begin the first Freedom Ride through the South, traveling as a racially mixed group on a Greyhound bus. On May 21, MLK addresses a mass rally in support of another group of Freedom Riders at a mob-besieged church in Montgomery, Alabama. In November, the Interstate Commerce Commission bans segregation in interstate travel in response to the Freedom Riders’ protests. On December 15, MLK arrives in Albany, Georgia, at the request of the leader of the Albany protest, to desegregate public facilities there. The following day, at a demonstration attended by seven hundred protesters, MLK is arrested for obstructing the sidewalk and parading without a permit.

1962 Following the unsuccessful Albany, Georgia, movement, MLK is tried and convicted on July 10 for leading the march the previous December. He is arrested again on July 27 and jailed for holding a prayer vigil in Albany. He leaves jail on August 10 and agrees to halt demonstrations there. On October 16, he meets with President Kennedy at the White House.

The above gives me, that middle to lower class white female, a charge to get out there and make an actual difference in the world. To find my cause. To eliminate labeling from who I am, to not let people label me, a woman who is fighting hard for what she can grasp but has plans to fight harder for more, given the opportunity, or actually, I’ll just have to take the opportunity, now won’t I?

… Since writing and reading what is above, the baby woke up from a nap, its beautiful outside, so we sat in the rocking chair and let the sun bathe us in vitamin D. Our brazen birdies were fluttering overhead from bath to suet, and Stinky sat in the sun spot beside us. We came in, had lunch, and now the baby is playing nearby on a warm spot. I’ve given ‘Another Side of Bob Dylan‘ four listens in a row now. My tea has gone cold and as I wrote that last sentence the votive on my desk burned out, which I’ll take as a sign to get on with the day, and off the computer.

One last thing, is that tonight Joe and I are going to Meeting to attend a Gathering for Understanding in accordance with Martin Luther King Jr Day. It was such a nice event last year, they handed out papers with quotes that you could stand and read. I shared my experience that I noted above, of visiting the street he grew up on, worshipping in Ebenezer Baptist Church, and the museum and his tombstone (which has an eternal flame) .. I meant to note earlier, that something that will never leave me, was seeing his jewelry, his bibles, and most eerily, the hotel key he held for the room, that had the balcony, which is where he was shot standing.

I tried to access my photos of the visit to include in this post, but came to learn that the little input on my hard drive has fallen out .. it’s just shaking around inside the unit. So that is a huge side note bummer. This hard drive has so much on it, I need to get it remedied or all the data off it and onto a new drive. Maybe next year I can share my photos. Dangit. In peace, afaye.

In peace, afaye.

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rebuttal to 1/6/17

hey, how’s it going?

okay so here i am again because after i published that last blog, i thought way too long and hard about what i just did. do i really want to blog? is it worth my time? am i too annoying, i am annoying myself, was that weird? etc. i got some great feedback from girls that i really admire so that makes it all a YES ASHLEY, KEEP GOING. but then, i also realized that i want to just provide more insight into how i am feeling (how needy and whiny am i right now?), but i am not trying to be this or that, finding your tone and your voice is hard work, so is self editing, it’s all something that i have been struggling with as i try to really hone in on my writing and make it count. so bare with me (or give me advice!)

i needed to shake things up so bad i compulsively went and got bangs chopped because when you need to change your life, change your hair, right? also, i am home alone by myself a lot, in-between doing baby things, with down time (my mom gave me a mini lecture yesterday on how i need to learn how to nap, and to nap when he does, even though i have stuff to do, i just can’t right now!) so why not write or focus on this.. even if a post takes me 3 days to finish.

at this moment in time, the galaxy is doing some groovy things, planets are direct, the moon is full, we can see about 5 plants in the sky right now (although it was so cloudy last night that the moon was a glow behind the murky sky, maybe we can get a glimpse tonight?) .. seeing those planets (or them seeing us?) is rare and awesome. it’s a wolf moon (in Cancer), which means be courageous, try new things and be brave while doing it. so i’m going to do that, k?

i’m also watching the entire series of Girls in preparation for the final season. totally forgot jessa and shosh are cousins..!

Rebuttal – noun: An attempt to contradict or disprove an argument by offering a counter argument or countervailing proof.

^^ .. oh yeah, i told joe i was writing a rebuttal to that last post.. and he seemed confused and concerned that i was possibly misusing the word, idk joe, maybe you weren’t confused or concerned. but what i mean is something like …..

self:

can’t stand myself. can’t stand other people. i cringe when i read over things i wrote, and you probably do too, and i can’t blame you. the blogging / micro blogging world is so over satured now it’s basically uninspiring, it’s all tired. what i post, what you post, what she posts, he posts, blah blah blah. i have been posting my thoughts / photos for .. lemme do the math, nearly 18 years now? that makes it legal! ha ha, bad joke. anyway, sorry for posting, but bare with me as i try to be as non-cringeworthy as possible. this is going to be a process.

work:

i feel like i am at an all you can eat chinese buffet and i just keep eating so i don’t have to get up and leave because not only do i not think i have enough in my wallet but i’ll also be sick for days. being a stay at home mom and a work from home mom is no joke. thank the lord my computer is now here!

home:

sink full of dishes, baby toys all over the place, freezing cold cement floors, tarps covering all the stuff outside, never ending stacks of things to donate/return. forming my own version of the magic art of tidying up but it’s just usually a mess you know what i mean? laundry laundry laundry we’re almost out of laundry detergent let me add it to the list, lists for days lists for days.

marriage:

a favorite writer of mine documented her life through 59 published BOOKS – and never really mentioned her husband, because he was a private man and their relationship was private. before this, you may know, i have put a lot about J and me out here, on ourbklyn and social media, etc. our marriage and relationship is so real and private (captianette obvious over here, i know), my point is, i am going to work on being less open with it. whatever you do see of us, has always kind of been a (spoiler alert) caricature of who we really are, and it’ll still usually be that way, but just less of it.

mamahood:

my son is my best friend.

friendship:

see above. ..and below 🙂

right now:

finally taking down all these f’ing christmas ornaments. stinky and pippen just had a legitimate hissing and barking tangled up brawl under the couch (dog crawled under like a momo when cat was already under, joe had to lift the couch up to get them to stop) .. watching the first episode of west world for the third time because i just haven’t been able to focus on it during previous attempts (although i’m finally understanding) .. drinking so much water because i’ve had that chilly spine all day which usually means i am coming down with something, and i am so not in the mood. oh yeah, watched the bachelor tonight and nick sounds like he has marbles in his cheeks when he talks. just realized i mentioned three different TV shows in this post, i watch(listen) to a lot of TV and cable costs so much f’ing money, i just want to get rid of it all. we tried to cancel cable and they wouldn’t let us! they said it only costs an extra PENNY to have cable if you have the internet .. so we still have it, but i’m tired of it… i want cancel it all, but i’ll miss it, but i’ll get other stuff done..

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