Simple kind of life.

Well, we officially canceled our cable service. Bye bye bye. I am sad to admit that I might be a little bummed, because I did like to watch cable, but there is really no point whatsoever in paying what we were paying for something that is only distracting us and keeping us away from reading, listening to music (or watching something fulfilling) while at home.

Yesterday was sort of a bad day for me. Lets rewind first to two nights ago, when I was driving to meditation and got a call from my dad that Stinky (our dog) was not doing well. You might be wondering why he had Stinky in the first place. Well, after we got back from our honeymoon we picked Stink up and his eyes looked great, he is a chihuahua and has bulgy eyes that he has been scratching a lot lately. We bring him home and he starts scratching again, so we were wondering if he has developed an allergy to the cat. We were at the vet in July with a freak infection in his neck (which I was wondering if it was caused by a tooth infection) – So maybe the eyes is also from his teeth. Anyway, we brought him there two weeks ago to see if his eyes clear up again, so we can rule something out before putting him under (which can be very dangerous for a small dog his age).

So, my dad calls me up and says he isn’t doing well, asked for some vet records, so they could bring him to the vet. I said I’d come pick him up and bring him to our vet. So I go there the next evening to pick him up and his eye looks so bad. It’s nearly all gray and there is puss in his cornea and he just is so sad. We had made a vet appointment so on the way to get him I also stopped and picked up a tranquilizer — he is difficult so this pill is to be given to him two hours before our appointment.

Joe woke up and brought the pill into bed around 7am, we woke up at 8:30 and poor Stinky couldn’t even use his legs, he was rolling around on the ground. Well, once he heard Joe making eggs he figured out how to walk and was more or less himself (just sleepier) — We get to the vet and were there for about an hour.

What we learned is that he had an ulcer on his cornea that could have been caused by several different things. First step is to treat it and try to make him more comfortable. His blood work showed a significant rise in levels in his liver, which could mean cancer. If we want to sedate him we can do an ultrasound on his liver (for $440), and while he’s down the oral vet can look at his teeth, if any have to go they can take care of that too (for up to $1,500) … his appointment yesterday cost us $360. Not sure why I am giving you numbers here but I just can’t help but go there. I vowed yesterday to start a savings account for my animals so when things like this happen we can not stress about the financial side of things.

So anyway, I just keep hearing the word “cancer” echoing through my head. I know we have to go through with the ultrasound, to know what is going on. We go back Tuesday morning to see how he is doing. In the meantime I have 3 different drops, an antibiotic, and a pain killer. He is also wearing a cone. His spirits are still high which is making all the difference for me.. although he *hates* the drops. One of them is a serum made from another animals blood.. that has to go in the eye every two hours. It’s a struggle to say the least.

So other than that, I took yoga this morning and it was really nice. I am starting to really love going, and I always wanted to practice enough to feel this way, and now it is happening. On the way home, I got pulled over. Apparently the registration for my car expired on the 30th of November, which I had no idea, isn’t the DMV supposed to send you something in the mail? I try to be so on top of that stuff, my arms were numb when I got pulled over I had no idea what was going on. I also somehow lost my license in my own home the other day (and have been turning everything upside down since looking for it). It was a nice cop who just let me go and said to try to get to the DMV ASAP to get a new license and register my car. The past few days have been one thing after the next for me. I need a break.

I am going to Bordentown tonight to set up a table at what they call the “Chocolate Walk” — basically carriage rides, festivities, and all the local businesses have special treats. We are doing mocha java (with whipped cream) — Joe is working at his other job so my dad is going to come and help me. We are also picking up an order of olive oils that we sell at the store, so hopefully we can push some of that this weekend. Oh me oh my, so much is going on.

It’s so nice out here if I was smart I’d be walking on the beach, but instead I am cleaning up the house and getting my self in order so I am not running late later on.

I have to admit, that with the cancelation of the cable I also downloaded the Amazon streaming app on the Wii, so now I can hook up my Amazon Prime account and watch all that is there. I started “Transparent” last night and am obviously LOVING it. Next up is “Man in the High Castle”.

Mandy sent me a song earlier saying she thought it would be what Joe and I sounded like if we had a band, so I looked it up and listened and I somehow know every word to the song! I can’t place where I know it from, possibly a soundtrack or I had it on a playlist or Joe is obsessed with it or something.. I don’t know but I love the song, so I will post it below for you to listen. It’s “Someone Else” by Wild Child. Namaste.


December

Well, it’s December 1st. That happened quickly. This year that is. What a freaking year it has been. I am sitting here on my couch, not really sure what I came here to write about. It’s as if there is so much going on I don’t know how to process any of it. Today itself flew by, actually. I woke up this morning with Joe, we slept in a little because of the rain. We had some coffee and then drove to his parents house so he could borrow his mom’s car for the week. His parents are in Disney with his sister’s family, and since we only have one car it would make such a difference to have another set of wheels. What usually happens is I am stranded here all day feeling helpless. Our business is only down the road but there isn’t anything going on there during the week, there is just something about having a car in the driveway/an out to escape the island if you want to. I might have touched on that part before, but yes, we live on an actual island that just gets lonelier and lonelier as the winter rolls in.

Tonight I am meeting my mom at a yoga class. It’s technically a meditation class, but either way, it will be nice. We have been doing yoga 1-2 times a week for the past month and it is bringing us closer and definitely helping both of our mental states.

I just ate an entire sleeve of oreos. Zero regrets.

I hope you had a nice Thanksgiving. We did. The actual day was spent at Joe’s parents, my mom came the night before and slept over which was nice. Last year on Thanksgiving my nana passed away, so this year was an emotional time. This entire week is still extremely emotional. To think that a year ago I was writing her obituary and processing what had happened, her service was on December 4, I really can’t wait for that day to come and go at this point. I am feeling more at peace without her in my physical life. It is sad but she was sick and it was her time.. I just wish I had more time with her. The last year of her life I don’t feel like I was present enough. Although I was there for her as much as I could, I think it really just comes down to what I was doing with my jobs, and how much it wasn’t worth it. She was proud, and I don’t really believe she held it against me but looking back I just hate that I often put my job and the person I was working for in front of who really mattered. Especially since that person didn’t appreciate my work most of the time.

Anyway. I cooked another Thanksgiving dinner this past Sunday. The whole thing, turkey, mashed potatoes, string bean casserole, stuffing, gravy, cole slaw, cranberry sauce… it was really good and we are still enjoying the leftovers. I started to take pictures for this here blog but as always, I got too busy and caught up in the cooking to carry on with taking pictures. Oh, I also did a pumpkin pie. From a can, but still. I really do love pumpkin pie but this year it just didn’t taste right to me, this one and the one on the actual holiday.

Okay, I am going to sign off.










pumpkin pie | making fried onions for the top of the casserole | curled up kitty | plate before & after | ma, me, joe | first thanksgiving as a married couple | petting baby margot at ellie’s second birthday | leftovers are amazing | joe brought my mom and I each a bouquet of flowers on nana’s anniversary

Sunday Survey: Getting to know you

Name: Ashley
Nickname: Ash, Ash Faye, jiggly wiggly, figlet
Height: 5’11
Age: 31
Zodiac sign: Virgo
Marital status: Married
Hometown: Bordentown, NJ
Current city: Lavallette, NJ
Occupation: Proprietor and Conceptualist
How many places have you lived?: 25ish
Righty or lefty?: righty
Morning or night person?: I fluctuate
Coffee or tea?: lately, tea .. although I own a coffee shop
Red or white wine?: can’t choose
Dogs or cats?: can’t choose
How do you like your eggs?: over easy
Do you keep a calendar?: obsessively
Early, on time, or late?: usually not early…
Are you nostalgic?: to a fault
Manual or automatic?: manual

Favorites
Movie: Cinderella, Breakfast at Tiffany’s, Apocalypto, Manhattan, When Harry Met Sally, this question is nearly impossible to answer.
Book: Where the Sidewalk Ends, Marjorie Morningstar, Weetzie Bat
Meal: rare prime rib with mushroom gravy, mashed potatoes, string beans, pearled onions, carrots, cucumber salad .. cheesecake for dessert
Genre(s) of music: pop, folk, funk, r&b
Color: pink, green, black
Season: indian summer
Number: 12
Vegetable: string beans, carrots
Fruit: pineapple, oranges, apples, grapes, mango, blueberries, on and on
Sandwich: roast beef, turkey, tomato, lettuce, pickles, mayo.. poppy seed roll
Holiday: Thanksgiving

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What the Hel-latte

You may or may not know this about me yet, but I am a seasoned barista. I worked in cafes in historical New Jersey, Philadelphia, and Brooklyn. I have consumed coffee in cities all over America and I have trained and pleased and worked with many other interesting coffee people.

Now, riddle me this, why is it whenever I go ahead and splurge for a $4.00 coffee drink out its made wrong? Point incase, right now, I am at Barnes & Noble in the Monmouth Mall. I ordered an even keel latte, and what I got is a drink that doesn’t even exist in the world of coffee. It’s basically over heated milk, with an inch of foam. The milk doesn’t even taste like it mixed right with the espresso, the foam isn’t even foamed in the micro fashion that a latte should be. I really am not the kind of person to bring it back, give me another 5 years and I will have the maturity to deal with it.

Right now, my drink’s foam looks like dish soap. The bubbles are so large. It’s just not a latte dammit. I just I shouldn’t expect much but the reason I was driven to go here is because I have been such a cheap skate I haven’t even wanted to buy things out like this because it happens so much so I treat myself and this happens again.

When I ordered even keel she was like “a what?” I said “an even keel latte” — “yeah, but like, what goes in that?” .. I said, “it’s half decaf half regular.” — “oh, okay.” .. Right now I am glaring over at her and she’s telling her co worker some stupid story and I just want to be like “Why don’t you practice your micro foam” … Sorry I am clearly feeling like a big old biatch right now but it’s just not that hard to make a latte right, especially when you are using the Starbucks brand, you should just practice it. Then know it.

I’ll also add that I am here while Joe works nearby, and I am working on my resume. I hate working on my resume, I look at my most recent resume and want to slap myself. I just hate doing resume and hate the whole job search. It’s hard for me to talk about myself, let alone be smart and analytical about the jobs I’ve had. Okay, back to work.

EDIT — Okay I am back, I am listening to a man go through a job interview a few tables away from me. Listening is an over statement, I am overhearing key words like “social media” — “theatre” — “MTV” “Jeff Beck” “Jonny Lang” etc. He is a man in his late 40s, seems to be in some kind of production, interviewing with two suits who both got large earl grey teas. It seems like a job I could work with too, whatever they are looking for. Getting out of the house today was a really good thing for me. I am making progress on my resume, so back I go.


Hi again

I haven’t written here in a little bit, but I think about this blog everyday. I hope it turns into a spot where I am compelled to share and to work on it all. Blogging is really hard work, and it’s something to easily put on the back burner because what really comes of it? Not much.. unless you really succeed in reaching people and turning it into a community space. Which is what I want to do.

Not sure how I just got started on that because I came on to say that I am watching CBS Sunday Morning and I’ve cried at nearly every segment, so that’s how my Sunday is going so far. Good cry and bad cry, but all the same it feels good to cry.

This evening my mom is hosting a dinner at her house. I am really looking forward to it.

Hi

I’m blasting Cat Power’s cover of “Sea Of Love” and it makes me feel crazy emotional and beautiful because sometimes I think if my heart and my lungs and my brain could sing a song it would sound like this.

Can you tell I am feeling emo? These past few days, since getting back from Costa Rica, have been very strange for me. I went from being in this beautiful pure place, feeling like my happiness was untouchable, vowing to bring back this positive view on life, to being here, in reality, and losing complete grip of those emotions, and beating myself up over it. I am 99% positive that a lot of it has to do with the fact that I am not served the most delicious fruit plate every morning. But that is something I need to work on myself, unfortunately New Jersey doesn’t have the same selection of in season ripe fruit so I’ll just have to deal with it.

Mine and Joe’s wedding song just came on.
Glenn Miller Orchestra, “I’m Glad There Is You”

I have had a few conversations the past few days with one of my oldest and dearest (and best) friends, Mandy Fay. We are always in tune with each other no matter what is going on, but we are both having a hard time. So our initial conversations can start with text messages like “I most certainly just had a legitimate psychotic episode” or “I am so sick of failing at everything fucking thing I do” can be turned into sharing synopsis’s about the books we are currently devouring, or remember that time when we did stupid 1 2 or 3, or encouragements like “you are more than a friend, you are like my sister” ~ I just got off one of those phone calls, that started as her calling me to see if I was okay, and left me feeling positive, which is what really makes this fucking world GO ROUND!! Where’s the love? It’s here!

Devendra Banhart, “Can’t Help But Smiling”

Anyway. I also want to quasi-apoligize about my Hilary Clinton rant from the other day. Because I have been oddly enough thinking about it, not like anyone really reads this blog yet, but I don’t want to seem like such an ignorant shallow mo-mo. I really don’t know who my next Presidential candidate is, especially now that Chris Christie is out of the race (go ahead, now you can think I am an ignorant mo-mo, but I will debate him with you if you’d like…) — but I really just had to let it out there how I feel about Hilary. I know she is an extremely intelligent woman who has a good social media strategy and has so many other powerful woman rooting for her. But I just have this awful memory of shame dealing with blowies, and she will be forever associated with it. That’s just where I stand.

Florence + The Machine, “You’ve Got the Love (XX remix)”

My mom is on her way over here to pick me up so we can go to the mall. I can’t even remember the last time I went to the mall with her, so it should be fun. We are going up to Freehold to hit up the good stores. I am investing in an entirely new beauty routine from LUSH — because I am so tired of using all these chemically engineered products from a million different companies. I really don’t want to put harsh and random chemicals on my body anymore, so hopefully some hippy chick at the store will be patient with me. I am wearing a dress that I bought for the honeymoon, and it’s been in my suitcase, and my super sense of smell is just bothering me. It’s like this dress kind of smells like its been up against a dirty pair of something else (not panties, you sicko) — but like just the faintest smell of dirty laundry.. I don’t know it’s just kind of making me ill. It’s that suitcase smell. I am washing everything that was in the suitcase but most of it needs a nice dry sunny day to line dry and we haven’t had that yet, so here I am. I’m def not going home to change, but I just wanted to share that with you. Oh yeah, I also want to hit up H&M to restock some leggings and long tanks, what what! I also need some new bras but that’s a conversation for another day.

Jason Mraz, “Best Friend”

Last night the Bulls won their first game against the Cavs .. and the Royals beat the Mets in like the 100th inning. Isn’t that interesting. Anyway, my Mom just here so we are off to embark on a shopping extravaganza! …. My mom brought me pumpkins. She is so cute still doing mama things like that. “They were big enough, so I seat belted them in the back seat” — She also said she won’t let Joe ever carry her pumpkins again, because last year she got me a pumpkin with the cutest stem, it actually did a curly-que .. and Joe carried it by the stem(handle) and it snapped right off. Ha ha ha.. okay, off we go!


Joe and I on the honeymoon (this is the dress).

Honeymoon

Joe and I leave for our honeymoon in two days. We still have lots to take care of and some people to see, but then we will be off to paradise enjoying each other and talking about the exciting future together. It will be glorious and warm and tropical and just thinking about being there makes my heart beat a little faster. I keep fantasizing about stepping off the plane. We haven’t really had a vacation together in 3 years. Additionally, we’ve never had a vacation together where we stay in one place. It’s also been ad adventure of hopping from place to place, seeing this and seeing that. This will be so different and relaxing for the two of us to stay put and relax. I am off to make lists of what to do and what to bring and do laundry and make some lentil soup. Biggest decision is what books to bring. Should knitting come along? Did I mention it’s basically a beach day down here today? This painting makes me relax —

braid
John William Godward – A Congenial Task, 1915.

ADT – America’s Dickiest Technicians

So, about a year ago, at about 2am or so, before Joe was leaving for a week long work trip across the country, we decided to call ADT and see what installation and service was to have our home protected. The lady we dealt with was really nice and sweet and made us feel good, saying she could send someone the next day to install and we would be up and running just in time. Great great great! At the time I suppose we(I) were(was) feel ing very vulnerable. Not only is going from living in a Brooklyn brownstone to an isolated beach community a change of pace, we also had some issues in trusting someone who knew us and what we had. I just wanted to feel safe, so why not trust technology to do this for me? (ugh)

So ffwd about a week or two after we had our service installed and every time we left the house/set the alarm we had a call within 20 minutes that the alarm went off. The first two times we actually turned around — was someone really casing the joint and broke in that quickly after we left? wtf? Each time the house was fine.. so it must have been a glitch, who knows.

So anyway, this ended up happening time and time again .. we have a cat and a small dog, they assured us that the sensor would not pick up on anything under 100 lbs.. well, It was Pippen (the cat) and we ended up having to have a technician come back out (I’m sure we can all agree how freaking annoying it is to have technician window appointments to begin with) — so he comes out, and is weird, as always, and is telling us that since our house is really only 3 rooms that there is nothing he can do for us, but put the sensor in one of the bedrooms, which most likely, a robber, would come into one of the bedrooms to “look for jewelry” — so we ended up putting the sensor in that room, we were also instructed to put anything valuable in there before we left the house. Like, ok? so every time I leave my house I need to go around and gather all my valuable stuff and hoard it into one room? This sounds like a paranoid roller coaster.

SOoOOooo.. of course, the cat still trips the alarm in there, and we end up being at the movies one time it happens, and since ADT can’t get us on our cell the second it happens, they send a cop, which finds no weird behavior, and then we proceed to get BILLED from Toms River Police Department for a “False Alarm” — $100.00! Like, WHAT? what if there was someone in there? how is ADT and TRPD the ones that get to decide what we owe and what for…. I’m annoyed. So we stop using the alarm. It’s becoming more of a job than just worrying about whether or not you are getting broken into. I’ll also add at this point Joe has stopped traveling for work and our nemesis has moved so I am feeling safer anyway on a daily basis. Oh, I’ll also add since the “Restore the Shore” thing has been going on down here we have lived in a constant state of construction work. So there are strange men just walking around our house day in and day out. We have a port-a-potty or two lined up to our property, whenever I go to grab the mail or hang laundry I get hollered or whistled at. Just over it.. all these strangers having opinions and cat-calling.

Okay now I am feeling like the last place I should write about this is online.. also I just had a customer who said “just so you know, there was a break in a few blocks away last night..” like, really?

So when summer comes and we put the AC unit in our bedroom window, we basically stop using the alarm ever because if you have a window open you have to “by-pass” the window to set the alarm and its a really big pain in the ass so we stop. We don’t get broken into. Life continues on. So does our $50.00 a month charge. Imagine if we had been putting that aside for like, health care? For us, or for the animals? We’ve paid $1,100.00 for an ADT alarm that has caused us more paranoia and stress then getting broken into possibly could have.

So I ask Joe a few times if he could please call and cancel our service. It’s not feasible in our home and we don’t use it, what’s the point. So he does.. and they end up slamming us with a $520.00 charge to cancel. I am just so fed up right now I don’t even feel like writing about it. But we are struggling so hard with money the last thing we need is to pay this ridiculous amount for a piece of shit undependable service that has taken up so much time and energy this past year. I’m pissed and ADT can suck it because they suck. If we kept out three year contract we would have paid much more than $520.00 but still, what pieces of shit making us pay that when they are huge corporation that sucks and we are two little poor nobodies who can’t deal with what’s in front of us to begin with and now this. I’m just pissed pissed pissed.

“For a company that’s supposed to make their customers feel safe and secure I felt anything but that with you guys” – Joe on the phone 😉

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Back To The Earth

There is nothing to kill a writing buzz like a brain fart on your WordPress password. Like seriously, I can’t handle all the passwords anymore! It’s too much! I surrender. So for now I will write this up in Word, and then in 20 minutes, when I can try again, I will reset my password.

It’s 4:18 on a Saturday afternoon and I have basically wasted this day away. According to me, according to Joe, it’s fine, I needed my rest, and that’s why I love him (although sometimes I wish he rode my ass a little more to get shit done, but that’s a blog post for a different non-Saturday day).

I woke up a little before 10, after having weird dreams about forgetting how to walk (so I skipped instead). I had some leftover baked ziti for breakfast and watched 2 episodes of “Don’t be Tardy” that were on the DVR. Kim Zolciak is my spirit animal, and her husband Kroy, was born on my birthday (#912). I just wish Bravo had hour long episodes because once I’m grooving it’s always over (I just got into this show last week during a marathon). Then I ate some more (English muffin with cream cheese and jelly) and since I was sooooo cold, I found myself under the covers. Stinky soon followed, and then I put on “How to Get Away With Murder” (which I am not loving) and quickly fell asleep for a few hours.

So now I am awake and my Ma is bringing over dinner in a little bit, so I need to clean this place up so it’s presentable. Not kidding our kitchen table is covered in bills, magazines, and apples.

Joe has been at the store since 5:30 AM and he is having a good day. It’s Columbus Day Weekend down here so there are a lot of people sauntering around, most likely closing their homes up for the Winter, but lucky for us, needing coffee and enjoying shopping. It’s weird how people didn’t really shop in the summer, like for things, but as soon as “back to school” season began, people started to buy more physical stuff. It’s like in the summer all you need is the experience but the fall/winter is all about the possessions or something.

I put on Jason Mraz’s latest album, “Yes” – it always makes me feel so much better. I love his music so much it’s my feel good go to jamming. Not even kidding I just start to dance and float around like there isn’t a million things to keep me stapled down. I’m sitting here bobbing my head and shoulders as I write this. This newest album features “Raining Jane” a female rhythmic foursome so it has all these dreamy vocals and drum sessions. I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!! It’s also a lot more hippy dippy then his other ones, which were a little more about relationships and the fight, this one is about getting back to the earth and self love and taking it easy. I bought this right as we moved into this house last September, and we must have played it 800 times while cleaning/ unpacking/ painting. Isn’t it so fab when one of your favorite artists grows with you? Yeah, I thought so too.

So what else? I am going to get together a bunch of knitted goodies that I made to sell at the store tomorrow. We are setting up a tent out front and I hope it goes off! There is a parade in Seaside so we can expect a lot of traffic. I might even have Joe in the middle of the road juggling to get customers to stop. Maybe we should set up a kissing booth. I don’t know.

I’m going to close this with one more thing, I read the latest “Astro Insight” by my favorite cosmic online lady, Kathy Biel. The Libra New Moon is upon us, and it’s bringing great things (fun fact: we got married during the Virgo New Moon) – you can read it here, but I got the feels when I read the last paragraph, “As the Libra New Moon turns the page, we have the inspiration, tools and incentive to start writing. Word by word, line by line, paragraph by paragraph. This freedom of expression is one of the pay offs of what you’ve come through the past three years. Run with it.” I sent it to Joe (without pointing out my affection for the last paragraph) and our convo went like this –

Joe: you kidding me with that last paragraph?
Ashley: I know!! I wanted to write to you to read the last paragraph specifically
Joe: you’re like a fairy
Joe: my fairy
Ashley: That just made me tear up
Ashley: All I’ve ever wanted was to be someone’s fairy
Joe: you are for a lot of people I think
Joe: certainly me
Joe: you have a beautiful take on life, both the good and bad
Ashley: I’m craving motha f’ing cole slaw
Ashley: i love you
Joe: love you too

He has been very cool and supportive of me re-finding my voice through this blog. I don’t mean to out him with his cuteness but it’s just going to happen so sorry Joe, deal with it. Yes, he jams out to Jason Mraz with me and thinks I am a fairy. He’s all mine.

Um, so I just looked out the window as my favorite song was coming on and a butterfly fluttered by. Thanks, world. I love you. Life is beautiful.

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Where did all the bloggers go?

I am going through my bloglovin dashboard, trying to organzine absolute chaos. When I used to work for a living *ha!* I had to follow all sorts of different blogs to know what was going on in the word. The design world, the mama world, the wannabe fashion blogger world, the tech world, on and on and freakin’ on. I had them all under my personal dashboard (realizing now this was kind of a mistake) and as I kept finding new blogs I was obsessed with I kept adding new categories that go something like “Favorites” which then became “Absolute Faves” which then morphed into “Absolute absolute” — you get the idea. So now I am trying to get back into reading blogs but they are all kind of gone, or super zined out.

When I say zined out I mean personal bloggers turned corporations or society bloggers (with others voices portrayed on their blogs more-so than their own). It’s kind of weird and making me sad. I am reading farewell after farewell from ladies who I read for years on end. Clearly, I left them as well. But I never knew they stopped. A lot of them have moved on solely to Instagram, or have gone ahead and started an Etsy or a Big Cartel.

I mean I’m just as guilty, but now being back, as Ashley Faye, with my own sentimentally weird demented voice. I am totally feeling myself.
I am thinking I might have to find a new circle of blog friends, and this is exciting, but also kind of sad, like I said, because the internet is so different now that I just don’t think the relationships formed will be as genuine. But whatever, maybe I’ll be like I am in real life, and make no new friends.


me, circa 2000, “ashleyfaye” zine days.

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