Two weeks ago today I was reading the paper like I do every morning. By reading, I mean skimming and by paper I mean the New York Post – gimme a break, I can’t keep up with real news everyday. It just stresses me out too much. I usually like to just read anything scandalous, check movie times for my local theatre (even though I never intend on seeing a movie there) and look at a picture of Lady GaGa or Sarah Jessica Parker doing whatever they are doing somewhere trendy in Manhattan. Well, this particular morning I had more time and was actually reading the sections. I saw that Anthony Bourdain was going to be signing books at Barnes and Noble that evening! I think I actually jumped up and down a little bit. This is not like me, ever.. makes me too tall, who wants to see the tall girl jumping around? no one.
Anyway, Anthony Bourdain is my favorite food personality out there. I have never ever gotten into any other Food show (except the original Iron Chef – Hiroyuki Sakai was my MAN!) I’ll also add, I am not a hardcore Bourdain-er. I didn’t even know super fans of his existed until I reached the signing (I mean, why shouldn’t they exist, right?) But I really just DVR every single one of his shows and watch them everyday. He cracks me up and I adore him, thats it.
I immediately texted Joe saying I was going (Bulls vs Heat, big game was on) and asked him to join me. He agreed, but I honestly think he only said yes because he thought I would flake out. I almost did flake out. I planned on leaving my apartment at 5, yet by 5:15 I was still in a towel with big poofy pre-flat iron bangs. I had showered at 2. I was feeling THAT lazy. BUT I ended up lugging my tired self all the way to Union Square and I am really so glad that I did. Minus the fact that the train I was on got stuck for about 35 minutes and it was a manic scene down there. I hate confined spaces with strangers.
I showed up as it was scheduled to begin (always late) and there was definitely about 500 people there! Most of them had seats, but I had to get in one of those winding lines through the bookstore to wait my turn. Should have been on time, Ashley! Well, I was standing in the New Age section, Anthony was about 150 feet away but I couldn’t see him unless I was on my toes (not that desperate) and I couldn’t hear him at all because I had this chick a few people behind me who wouldn’t shut up. She wouldn’t stop bitching to her boyfriend because they came at 4 and “someone” told them to “come back at 7” and she didn’t get a seat, and is now in a long line. She even confronted an employee about the situation! Like, look around girl! we are all in this line. She thought since she already “bought” the book she should be ahead of most of us? Must add- this signing was only for the release of the book in paperback, it wasn’t a new book or anything like that. She even repeatedly make her boyfriend leave the line to go try to finagle her way into the seats. She was not even cute! She seemed to be out of her mind on Bourdain Blood and was laughing maniacally at everything Tony said. They ended up leaving and I watched them sneakily merge themselves about 10 people ahead of us in line, after all that. The girl directly behind me shared my sympathy and we ended up going back and forth about this chick for quite a while.
Joe showed up somewhere during all of this, and he looked not amused with the amount of people there. I was just praying in my head that this would go as quickly as possible. It didn’t. The Q&A with the audience lasted quite a long time and people were asking questions about how he likes to roll his joints and what his favorite vegan dish is. Do we really all need to know this? Once he started signing we got moved up to the front and then slowly gained admission to sit in folding chairs directly in front of the signing table and people watch everyone else meeting him. It was quite amusing, quite the turnout of different people who were all equally psyched to be there. Also, we ended up directly behind that girl. The annoying one. So we got to listen to her more. YAY.
This old man had him sign lots of old books, which weren’t Bourdain books. Is that even allowed? that whole stack was his!
-The chairs. almost empty.
Fast Forward approximately an hour and a half and we finally get ushered out of our seats and move to ANOTHER line, but this is the final line. I was thinking about what to say to him – the scenario was just so awkward. I’ve been to my fair share of CD signings back in the day, when I was a fan girl to the extreme. But that’s when I was still a little wee-one, getting giddy. For the most part, I’ve lost my adoration for “famous people” – I just get awkward. I wrote down this blog (worth a shot, right?) and I was just going to say what was situational when I got up there. Ideas – telling him Joe works for the Food Network (then he might have given Joe a hard time) and asking him when he’s going to bring No Reservations to the Jersey Shore. The annoying girl, by the way- was very loud and told him that when he gives up his job that she is going to steal it. She was shifting around and laughing like a maniac and of course, took a picture with him. Looking crazy. When we finally got up front I had him sign the book and a $2 bill. He joked about signing money being illegal, then I panicked and asked him about a Jersey Shore episode and he brought up the show! Said they ruined NJ for him, although he spent summers in LBI as a child and also admitted that he does indeed still watch the show. I said something back that I can’t remember and then we were shoo’ed away. We got home, stayed up late to watch the Bulls game, they lost. Joe was pretty bummed, so was I. I was also exhausted and had to be at work in a few hours. Not fun, this is why I don’t like doing anything on work nights. I’m telling you, my job is taking over my life (schedule wise)
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